How To Raise Successful Kids Without Over Parenting

“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves, that will make them successful human beings.” – Ann Landers

Yesterday I came across a TED talk by Julie Lythcott-Haims. Julie is the author of the book How to Raise An Adult. She is also a former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford University.

In her talk, she discusses how to raise successful children without overparenting. Confused thinking how is this possible! At first, I was also taken aback that successful without overparenting, but then as I watched the video, the whole thing made sense to me.

We often think that by helping our children at every turn we are helping them, but no this is not so. Also, we feel that their grades are going to decide how successful they are going to be. Well, grades really don’t define success. We are all aware of this fact by know.

I try not to over-parent my daughter (though sometimes I can easily slip in the category of a helicopter or even a tiger mom), I make sure we follow

That winning and losing does not matter; what matters is that she participates

It is alright to show her emotions

Don’t rush to help her instantly

Let her do her homework on her own

Be forgiving

I make her do her chores

Ask her to help me

Eat meals together

These are just a few things I try to follow in order to make her a happy person. Let me know what you do!

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Shubhra Rastogi Written by:

Well, about me I can say that I am a certified dentist, healthcare analyst, medical writer and above all a mother of a 6-year-old. Most of my day to day activities revolve around her and she is my inspiration to start this blog. As a mother, I experimented with a lot of new things for my little one in a quest to find the best for her. I just want to share my experiences of being a happy and content mum.


  1. January 11, 2019

    Beautiful sharing! I am not an overmothering to my daughter. I wasn’t because I was busy trying to keep myself in line in life. As a result, I supported her to do the same. She is a fabulous being and knows to find her wisdom within. It is a challenging world and we want our children to be aware of that and be able to adjust and adapt herself in it.

    • Shubhra Rastogi
      January 11, 2019

      So happy for your daughter Lyn. Thanks for visiting by!

    • Shubhra Rastogi
      January 11, 2019

      Thanks Roy 🙂

  2. January 12, 2019

    I can see a thoughtful mother bringing up her kids so well, Shubhra. Pat on your back for that. Mindful rules.
    As for me, I am growing with my children. When I first became mother, 16 years back, I realised that I had no basic training other than instincts, for the most important job of “mothering a child”. This thought led me to learn as my children grew. Two of the rules that I had been following and believe will follow forever, are “respect the opinion of the children” and “never reprimand (if at all one must) children in public”.

    • Shubhra Rastogi
      January 21, 2019

      Thanks for visiting Anagha

  3. January 12, 2019

    My kids are grown with kids of their own. Great suggestions for them, or me with the grands. I loved your ideas and borrowed some of them for my own post about raising a widow. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Shubhra Rastogi
    January 21, 2019

    You are welcome, Nita. Thanks for visiting by…

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