Hurry hurry spoils the curry, is a commonly used phrase. But all hurry and no calm is quite a recipe for a disaster.
Recently, I read a blog “The Day I Stopped Saying Hurry Up”. While going through the blog I had a smile along with feelings of guilt and my inner voice screaming loudly “that’s you!”. After reading the blog I sat down, analyzed whatever the author had written and then intertwined it with my life. I am among those mother’s yes, in fact, one of the many who starts their day by Hurry, Hurry and Hurry Up! or you will be late for school.
The first thing I tell my daughter early in the morning is, “hurry up, get up otherwise you will miss the bus”. Hurry up with your potty (I can’t even bear someone knocking on the door and hurrying me up for the morning job and here, I have been actually driving my child nuts by doing so).
There are times when she says nothing and times where both of us get into an argument. Then there are instances where I unnecessarily stress my daughter to bits by hurrying her not only for her morning chores but also for getting ready, finishing her meals, completing her homework, winding up her toys. I seem to have pushed all limits when I ask her to wrap up her calls quickly with her friends and grandparents.
Haste makes waste … the phrase is so true for me and my daughter. In this fast action paced world, I am actually nurturing a hurried child. As per Dr. David Elkind, a hurried child is one who has always been hurried by their parents to become a mini adult. Well, while I was unaware of the fact that I am making my little one into a mini adult, the hurrying does not really help us to be quick. Instead, we just become grumpier and grumpier.
Children live in and for the moment. They don’t analyze any situation and especially not their future (even like the next ten minutes). So when they wake up in the morning, they want to be loved and indulge in relaxation rather than running out of the house. Thus it clearly explains why they don’t see an emergency in rushing out of the house.
Another reason why it is a task to get children ready on time is that the developing children are governed by slow internal body clocks. They tend to become snails and eat, dress and walk slowly. Though this is not really true when they have to do something which they are interested in.
While adults are always in a hurry, small children have all the time in the world. They walk slowly and enjoy the same, play in the puddles, smell the flowers, question the sun and moon. These are just the privileges of being a child which get lost over the years as they transform into adults.
After reading the blog “The Day I Stopped Saying Hurry Up”, I made a promise to myself. I introspected myself and realized that hurrying up was a part of me not only in the morning but also later in the day. Thus that minute onwards I tried to remove it from my dictionary. At first, it was a little difficult since I had been using “hurry up, hurry up” for the last 5 years (and had been hurrying up all the time prior to that).
It has been 10 days since I made this promise to myself, but slowly things have started to turn out better. Each time I have an urge to say the H word, I purse my lips or do something else and try to be as calm as ever.
This has helped me and my daughter. Now we don’t have hurried mornings, there are more I love you’s and kisses than hurry up. We have started taking pleasure in doing things. And the cherry on the cake is that she leaves the house with a smile rather than a disgruntled look. I love her smile and want that to stay on her face always!
If you are one of those who goes about hurrying up, then slow down mommy, pause a little, take delight in the world around you with your little ones. Trust me you will enjoy each and every moment of this 🙂