Mistakes I want to Avoid While Raising My Daughter

Raising a daughter is fun but at the same time I as a mother tend to falter while doing so, and in this journey there are some mistakes which I want to avoid, helping her build a confident her…

My daughter is 3.5 years and for her age, she seems to be quite headstrong. When she was born my happiness had no limits as I always wanted a baby girl. She has been the most amazing girl. She is empathetic, caring and loving. She’ll go an extra mile to wipe off tears from my face and even deny something which she dislikes or is not fond of. We like to snuggle up for a bedtime story every night, go for long walks, paint and explore new things together. We share a great chemistry and often even exchange advice.

While we experience so many good moments together, I also have to keep in mind that I don’t land up making mistakes while raising her from a beautiful girl to a graceful woman. Sometimes my daughter does give me hard time and at that minute I fear of committing a mistake just to save the moment. But as she grows I would want to talk to her about the aspects of life.

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It would be quite unfair on my part if I expect my daughter to be like me, because as an individual she is a separate entity with a charming personality. She has a great taste in music and for me music is nothing but noise (sorry if I hurt someone’s feelings). She is creative, dramatic and outgoing. She likes to talk a lot and can talk to anyone, while I am more of an introvert and take hell lot of time to shed my inhibitions. Parenting her differences and personality is the key to enter into her world rather than forcing her to be like me.

Right now she is a cute toddler but as she transforms into a young girl, I have to teach her not to focus too much on her looks. Just to please someone she does not have to focus on how she looks. She has to be taught to deal from body shaming as no one is perfect and everyone has a different body; everyone does not necessarily have a toned appearance. I do not want to bring up dieting or cut back on her food as long as she is healthy and within normal range. If I ask her to cut down on her food I might be sending her messages unconsciously that her body is not good enough and that she should feel bad for it.

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I am going to make sure that I talk to her regarding her periods, boys, puberty and sex yes you read that right. I don’t want to push this topic aside, as while growing she will experience a lot of changes taking place in her body in terms of hormones and physically. I do not want her to shy away when she is blossoming and fall into some trap. I want to talk to her easily by weaving the important thoughts into her daily life so that she turns back to me as a resource for tips.

I had a friend who was not too fond of her father and the reason being that her mother did not talk too well of her father in front of her. This led her to create feelings of aloofness for her father and a sense of insecurity for relationships. I vow to myself that I will never put down my daughter’s father in front of her. I ensure that the two have a good and healthy relation as it is very necessary to experience a father’s love and affection. Girl’s who see that their parents in a stable relation are in a better position to form secure relations in the future.

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Last but not the least I want to stop worrying about all the wrong things so that I have a clear picture of what I want my daughter to be twenty years from now. When our children are growing we often tend to forget the big picture and even me as a mother I have a habit of nitpicking on my daughter’s day to day activities. What I really need to do is to nurture her into an adult with my friendly advice and great tips.

The challenges and joys of raising a daughter are innumerable and the journey of doing so might not be so smooth. Yes, it is a roller coaster ride with lots of ups and downs, arguments, tantrums, advice, declining actions, agitations; and we as mothers might falter but it is never too late to avoid mistakes while raising a beautiful daughter.

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Shubhra Rastogi Written by:

Well, about me I can say that I am a certified dentist, healthcare analyst, medical writer and above all a mother of a 3 year old. Most of my day to day activities revolve around her and she is my inspiration to start this blog. As a mother, I experimented with lot of new things for my little one in a quest to find the best for her. I just want to share my experiences of being a happy and content mum.

6 Comments

  1. Usha malik
    February 4, 2016
    Reply

    Very nicely written. I too felt the same and feel these things are so important to discuss with your child. Also we often forget they are truly unique individuals and expect our kids to be like us. Shubhra very mature views….loved this article.

    • Shubhra Rastogi
      February 4, 2016
      Reply

      Thanks ma’am, it is indeed important to discuss these with our children…

  2. Prashant
    February 4, 2016
    Reply

    Brilliant article. Hope young parents take a cue.

    • Shubhra Rastogi
      February 4, 2016
      Reply

      Thanks a lot for your trust and support!!!

  3. Ram Kumar Singh
    February 4, 2016
    Reply

    It’s a marvellous article. Discussion and two way communication with your child is very essential for parents, so that you can understand your children. It is very helpful in developing the personality of your child as well as a human being. Shubhra, I admire your thoughts and maturity.

    • Shubhra Rastogi
      February 5, 2016
      Reply

      Thanks a lot for all your support.

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