Our primary role as parents is to raise successful, loving, kind, responsible and obedient children. This can be very tough, isn’t it? But trust me we can do it as there are no bad and unruly kids. As infant expert Magda Gerber said, “Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect.”
My daughter and I were on one of our shopping sprees (groceries for the house). When we finally filled in our cart with the month’s requirement we dashed off to the billing counter. There at the counter, we were greeted with a scene which we often see when in a toy store, at some mall or even in the park.
A young mother was very patiently trying to explain to her toddler why he cannot get the toy he wanted. He already had a similar toy and she did not want to give in to his demands. The conversation soon turned into a tantrum from the little boy’s end who was now determined to get the toy even if it meant by crying and whining. But I credit the mom, she handled the situation very well till she lost patience and lost her cool. She landed up making a scene and walked out of the store with her little boy following her … and yes he was still crying, in fact wailing loudly now.
I am sure this has happened to me, to you and to all of us at some point or the other. Getting and hold on the little ones and trying to discipline them can be quite a task. My daughter when she was a toddler would often test my patience. When I would tell her not to do a certain thing she would keep repeating the same and she would not like to leave the playground even after repeated requests from my end. But I soon set her limits which helped me prevent any major meltdowns.
So don’t worry moms, if this has happened with you then just try simple discipline techniques and help prevent the showdowns. After all, we don’t want to be in the limelight, right mums!
Be Patient With Your Children: Difficult but true, that being a parent means you have to be patient with your child. Children often tend to do things which not only test our patience but also parenting skills. If we say no to a child, they often keep on repeating the same thing over and over again just to see our expressions. And finally, we do land up losing our patience. This often leads to arguments and scenes. So try not to lose your patience as you may be haunted by guilt later on.
Be A Role Model For Your Children: I always say children see children do! So if you want to instil values in them why don’t you be a good role model for them? When you talk to others and to your child with respect they will do the same. Start saying the magical words when you talk to your child and they will start doing the same as well. And trust me all this can be done with much ease and less fuss.
Be Consistent And Firm: If you are very strict about discipline and are always following the NO behaviour then try to be consistent throughout. Children get confused if you say no for one thing and for the same you say yes some other time. Also, if your child tries to convert your NO to a YES by doing unpleasant things (hitting, whining, being disrespectful), which seek your attention, just look into their eyes and say a firm NO! If the same is repeated again disapprove of their actions by being firm and consistent.
Excel The Art of Talking to Your Toddler: When your child does something wrong, talk to him at a level so that he can understand you. If he throws a toy at you, you can tell him that you got hurt and how would he like if someone threw a toy at him? Won’t he get hurt? And then tell him that throwing things at others is not too good as someone may get hurt. Lastly, sum up your conversation politely by asking him whether he will throw things at people again? At that moment he may say no, but there is no guarantee that he will repeat this. But then if you give him constant reminders, he will learn soon.
Key Rule – Never Hit Your Child: You may raise your hand once or twice but don’t make this a habit as this can create a rift in your relationship with your child. Also, spanking leads to unruly behaviours later in the child’s life. As per a study, if children are spanked they become more aggressive and short tempered.
Respect And Love Your Child: Last but not the least it is very necessary to respect and love your child in a similar manner you would like your child to love and respect you. Don’t shy away from showing your love for your child. Cuddle them, hug them, play with them, read with them, laugh with them, read with them and always treat them with respect after all they also deserve it. (Just because you are a parent you can’t always bully them).
As parents, we always think for the best for our children. While we take care to raise them responsibly we should also reprimand them when they misbehave. More so because we are raising the future generation 🙂