Being pregnant is a wonderful feeling. Be it for the first time or the second. The only difference in being pregnant for the second time is that you are a parent as well.
A friend of mine who is 21 weeks pregnant with baby number 2 often narrates her experiences and compares them to the time when she was expecting baby number 1. Some days she is as energetic as a fireball while on the others she just has to slog making the impossible possible. She firmly believes, that during the first pregnancy she was only pregnant, and with second pregnancy she has her own setbacks of already being a parent.
Being pregnant when you are a parent can be very difficult mentally, emotionally and physically. Physically, because dealing with pregnancy symptoms like nausea and fatigue along with looking after the other child. Mentally, because one has to be active all round the clock to cater to the needs of the existing child. And emotionally, well, pregnancy can make anyone emotional.
Oh yes if you already have a toddler, then it can become very difficult to explain to them the limitations you are facing. And as time advances it becomes harder to carry, chase and play with an energetic toddler. Also, the second time around one does not have the luxury to take breaks and naps like the first time.
Here are some challenges and the best ways you can survive them:
1. Morning Sickness:
My friend rather found it very difficult to toss up a meal for her child. Every time she would step into the kitchen she had a strong nauseating feeling which would make her dash for the bathroom.
Nausea, vomiting and morning sickness are very common in the first trimester. This is not considered to be normal but can be really irritating when you have to look after a child. Though these symptoms ease towards the second trimester, some days may feel very heavy.
Tip: To avoid nausea it is best to eat small but frequent meals. Spicy, sweet and too salty foods should be eliminated from the diet. Other than diet natural remedies like aroma diffusers, peppermint teas and ginger candies are also helpful in keeping nausea at bay.
An acquaintance accepted that when she was pregnant the first time around she would make it a point to nap after work. But the second time around she found it rather challenging. On top of that, she had many sleepless nights which further worsened her fatigue.
Tip: To overcome fatigue, the best thing is to rest when you can. But being a pregnant parent can challenge this fact. It’s fine if the laundry for the day has not been done. Skip the laundry and rush in to take a power nap. If feeling too tired then try to just lie down on the bed, and yes don’t forget to snuggle your little one. Also, maintaining a regular sleep routine, avoiding phones and screens during bedtime help to a great extent.
3. Stress and Load:
Stepping out of bed is just very difficult when one has fatigue coupled with nausea. In this situation, unnecessary stress like dealing with toddler tantrums, an older child’s homework, housework, an unending argument can easily take a toll on the pregnant lady.
A colleague at work who has a toddler and is pregnant mentions that the hardest part is to maintain the willpower to be loving and caring towards baby number 1 and husband, rather than expressing emotions when she is feeling low.
Tip: It’s fine to feel low as lack of sleep can create havoc with the body. In such a situation, there is no harm in asking for help from your husband, friends and even extended family members. This just ensures that you get some rest.
4. Inability to entertain the existing child:
Pregnancy is not easy with backaches, swollen ankles, heartburn and lethargy. By the third trimester, the symptoms may worsen for some and make it hard for them to move around. This can be difficult as a parent.
An otherwise active mom said that she found it very difficult to move around in the last 6-8 weeks. This further dampened her spirits since she could not keep up with her energetic 3-year-old.
Tip: Explaining a toddler could be a bit difficult, but if you have been talking to them about the arrival of their sibling they understand. Make it clear to them that Mumma cannot do this. Let them know that it is a temporary phase. Try to make use of maximum indoor activities like painting, art and craft where you can bond with your child.
5. Don’t feel guilty:
Sometimes a bad feeling of being an inadequate mother may set in. Since you are already a parent and also pregnant, you may not find yourself giving 100 per cent to your child. You may find it difficult to meet your child’s needs and energy levels. There can be moments when you lose your cool. This is enough to set you on a guilt trip.
Tip: Let it go, don’t be so hard on yourself. After all, you are making a baby and working extra hard. It is perfectly fine not to be perfect. When at ease you can talk to your child and make them understand why mommy is behaving so erratic. I am sure they will understand.
Though pregnant parents may find it difficult to last the nine months journey, some also enjoy this time. Some feel overwhelmed but it is completely normal. Some say they were not alone in this journey and had help. This made it easy for them to rest and take care of baby number 1 as well. The bottom line is that make sure you give yourself some rest even if it means watching a lot of television 😉
Have you been through such a situation? If yes, I would love to know your incidents. If no, then all means I have no intention of scaring you. After all, be it any pregnancy, it is beautiful!
This post is written as a part of #WeeklyBlogHop hosted by Alpana from www.mothersgurukul.com & Neha from www.growingwithnemit.com. Further, I would like to thank Kushal from www.cafewhiz.com for introducing me to this blog hop and would like to introduce Noor from www.nooranandchawla.com to share her post.