Each child is an adventure into a beautiful life – an opportunity to change the old pattern and make it new.” – Hubert H. Humphrey
Okay, we all have gone through pregnancies and successfully given birth to little angels. We have managed to bring them up so well that we often opt for baby number 2. Thinking that we know it all by now we are confident and feel what we are doing is right!
How bad can it be to add another member to the family?
Just because we have had a baby we feel that all babies are similar. But ahh, there is the catch no two babies are similar. Even Prince William was shocked after the birth of his daughter who never used to sleep, while the son would always be on the move.
Since I have a single child, I am so used to parenting one baby. I feel I have everything under control and this sometimes make me think for baby 2. But am I going to have the same control over baby 2 as well? Would I be able to handle everything?
I chatted up with some of my friends who introduced baby 2 to the family and here is what I came to know:
1. Every Pregnancy is Different:
Just because in your first pregnancy you were craving for salt and didn’t throw up doesn’t mean that the second pregnancy will be the same. You may have different food cravings and maybe spending most of the day throwing up. Also, fatigue depends on the number of babies you already have.
With an already existing child, the morning routine may get hampered which may lead to the morning sickness ritual.
2. Every Birth is Different:
Like every pregnancy is different, every birth story is also different. One may feel that by already giving birth the body now has a good understanding of what happens during childbirth. But many are shocked and surprised when the big day arrives. Maybe if the first time around you had a smooth delivery you may end up with slow labour. An otherwise frightening experience may be totally opposite the second time.
3. Two is More Than One:
Yes, definitely two is more than one. So when baby number 2 is introduced there is double the laundry, double the work and double the cooking. There are two times more the meltdowns, anger, arguments and frustrations. But yes then there is two times love, hugs and kisses as well.
4. Planning a Nap:
First-time mom always gets the advice to sleep when the baby sleeps. Trust me it is a piece of very good advice. If you do this you just make up for the sleep deprivation. But this advice does not work very well during the second time. It is not necessary that both children will sleep at the same time. One may be asleep while you may be on toes to look after the other one. You may also face trouble with appeasing the demands of baby 1 with an extra dose of love and attention.
5. Schedules of the 2 Children do not Match:
What a lovely picture that both the children are eating, sleeping, playing and literally in sync with each other all the time. Wish this dream could be a reality! Trying to match the routines of children may not end up so well. While a baby needs to be fed more often, baby 1 could easily spend 1 hour on his meal. Same is the case with bedtime. While baby 1 may doze off rather early, baby 2 could stay up all night.
6. There may be sibling rivalry:
Things may not turn out to be really hunky-dory. There may be outbursts from the first child or you may have an over-eager helper. There may be times when the older sibling may want to feed something like chips to the newborn. And yes as time passes by you may end up becoming a referee, trying to sort their squabbles. Baby 1 may not be aware of sibling rivalry as well since he/she had all the time till now.
7. They may gang up against you:
After the initial years, they may get along very well and gang up against you. While they become partners in crime, it is worse than sibling rivalry. This is because you are the one who is going to be the odd one out, especially after you welcomed them to this world. But in the long run, you will be happy that they enjoy each other’s company.
8. Whatever said and done there will be enough love for baby 1 and baby 2:
Once you have the first baby, you feel that he/she is the best thing that happened to you and you won’t be able to love anyone as much as you love them. Being pregnant with second often makes you think that baby 1 will no longer get attention. You are always thinking about how you will divide your time or how well you look after the new member with undivided attention. But hold on, there is nothing to worry about. When baby 2 comes, he/she will manage to make a place in your big heart and will also get whatever baby 1 got.
I know the math does not add up but this is how motherhood works. Isn’t it 😉