Grief is unpredictable. Grief is painful. Would there be any adult who wouldn’t have experienced as yet? “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” – Henry Wordsworth.
Karen was still under the effects of the anaesthesia which had been given to her during her C-section. When she had delivered her beautiful babies she had sensed mixed feelings in the room. As soon as she surfaced from the anaesthesia, she asked for her babies. Her husband stood next to her with a pale face. He didn’t know how to break the news to her. But Karen did not need any explanation. She made an effort and walked towards the nursery.
While walking towards the nursery, her mind reeled back to the day she found two pink lines on the pregnancy dip stick. She was so happy and had planned a little surprise for her husband to reveal that they were expecting. Since that day onwards she kept wondering how long she will have to wait to meet her baby. When Karen and her husband went for the first scan they were taken by surprise. They did not hear the heartbeat of their baby, instead, they heard two sets of heartbeats. She could not thank God enough for blessing her with two angels.
In her next scan, she was told that she is expecting a girl and a boy. She was thrilled. Karen and her husband started zeroing down on the names. She was becoming curious with each passing day as to how her angels would look like. She was so occupied with her pregnancy and looking after herself that she didn’t realise when she completed the full term and it was time for her babies to see the beautiful world.
That morning she was checked into the hospital all ready to welcome her twins. All the formalities had been done for a C-section and she was wheeled into the operation theatre. Soon she heard a baby cry who was immediately whisked to the other section. Though not fully awake she was aware of what was happening in the room. She kept waiting for her second baby to cry, but in vain she did not hear the baby cry. She could tell by the silence in the room that something was wrong.
When she reached the nursery she was overwhelmed to see her baby boy. She didn’t know whether to be happy or sad. She was confused whether to hug her newborn or grieve for her stillborn. She was batting against mixed emotions. After hugging her newborn she made a request to see her stillborn.
The doctors got her stillborn and handed her to Karen. She wanted to spend some time with her twins as a family. She hugged her stillborn and then looked up to God. At first, she was angry, but slowly her anger faded and she asked God to take care of her angel who was going to be in good care with him. She thanked God for the healthy baby boy, who will remind her always that she is blessed to have him.
By now the rest of her family and friends were here. They were crying and consoling each other. When Karen met everyone, she walked away from them calmly and thought how her son would keep her daughter’s memory alive always. One last time she thanked God for taking care of her daughter and thanked him for giving her son a little piece of his twin sister, which is always going to be with him.
She peacefully walked away with her son, while ‘Everyone Else Was Grieving’.
Also, linking this post with Corinne’s #MondayMusing