Did you take the 30 days, yell free challenge. How was your experience? Did you yell less, has your relationship with your child improved? If you are yet to take up the challenge, go ahead and take it up!
Anger is just a feeling like joy, happiness, sadness and love. The only difference between anger and other emotions is that we tend to manage and give utmost importance to the other emotions. But when it comes to anger, it is anger which takes charge of us rather than us taking charge of it. Start valuing anger also and you will see a change in yourself. It will definitely start to make a difference between yelling and not to yell. Not only this when it comes to not yelling the crux is the ability to calm down and also take charge of the emotion that is anger. Try not to give anger so much importance when trying not to yell.
When it comes to anger, there is enough of it in this world. In fact, you can find anger in every nook and corner of a home where people are ready to explode. And when we respond to anger with anger it only leads to more fire. Have you ever tried to put off a fire, it has to be smothered in order to be put off. Similarly, anger should not be fanned but smothered with love to put it off.
Try to think that anger in your life is something that is not working appropriately. When things are out of order or do not function properly we look at the root cause and try to find a solution for the same. In a similar manner if you make the most constructive way of anger it will help you diagnose the root cause of the same.
Next time around when you are getting upset and developing the emotions for anger try to reflect on your situation. Try to analyse the triggers, surroundings and a practice by which the situation can be handled. Trust me this works wonders and the key to assess the emotion anger is to pace away from it rather than fuelling it. When you see that anger is setting in, just try to excuse yourself and
Stay away from the situation
Call it a day off
Give yourself a break from being a mommy
Go for a walk and try to absorb the natural beauty
Try meditation and breathing exercises
There is a famous saying that what we feed grows stronger … so similarly we should not feed the anger as it grows stronger with each passing day. The best way to stop anger is by swapping it with love. Love like anger is again a very powerful emotion, with the only difference being that love triggers the goody-goody hormones which further send signals of calm and peace to you. Love helps you to stay calm when your kids are actually trying to be kids. Love helps you to respond with empathy, care and kindness.
What Happens When we Swap Anger with Love:
When we are angry we can observe it and compare it with a volcano bursting and then overpower these feelings with peace and love. Once we are able to give more importance to love we can consciously tame our breathing rather than the volcano exploding. While we are focussing on our breathing or distracting ourselves by taking a walk we tend to control our energy and the power of anger lessens ultimately. This happens because we give more importance to the inner power and transform anger by being calm and thus responding with love.
All this is not going to change in a day. One needs to be self-disciplined and practice it daily in order to tame the emotional energies that flow through the body and mind. When we try to limit the thoughts of anger and perform practices which transpose anger to awareness, we start to eliminate anger from our system. By doing so we move towards compassion not only for the people around us but also for ourselves.
Use Love Differently to Overcome Anger
It is very important to take out time from our busy schedules each day to be the parent your child wants you to be, to talk to them, to listen to them and to play with them. The most important thing is that when doing all these things there should be no room for distractions only hugs and kisses.
Here are some Tips to control anger which may help you to stay calm and avoid unnecessary yelling.
If you have missed out on the previous posts, do read them here: Go Yell Free, The Blueprint Of Yelling, Becoming a Mindful Parent, and Why Yell When You Can Get Kids Listen To You Without Yelling